Saturday, May 9, 2009

Marriage and Love

I was talking with my friend a few days back and he brought my attention to the nuances of arranged marriage nowadays. Back in my native, it starts off with the background check. Phone calls and requests; house going and enquiries; then the girl's family almost always have to take the lead. They will start off with a visit to the lad's house. Once there, they'll start off with tracing the ancestral roots like as though trying to find the common link. And then the humble proposal; if all goes well, the girl's photo is left for the boy's perusal. He is supposed to have a good look at it, and then meet her once, and then take a final call.
Amazing na… well if you see, this actually is what happens most of the time and it doesn't cause much confusion as well. Now let's look at the other alternative. The usual love stories; I just want to share my thought on this whole lovers and love story thingy.
To start with, one of the problems with lovers is that most of them get lost into a surreal world. Their thinking gets very much confined to the spaces between themselves. I am of course not generalizing but with whoever I've seen, the vast majority of them are lost in their loving world for quite some time. And during this time, they somehow lose the big picture of life. The focus becomes on getting their love working, on their intimate issues and on and on. And once the complications start, it becomes all too muddy. And when it goes to heights like, either her or no one, it gets absurd. I mean, you could have n number of reasons for being happy with one person, but that definitely should not be an overriding reason to kill your life as such. It's not like you were born with the other person in your life. And all these movies and stuff, always treats the parents as the villains. And life gets happy only if you get your partner else it's supposed to unsuccessful and what not! Crazy I tell you;
But then I must admit I've seen mature people as well, who knows how to take care of relationships. Taking it the way it should be taken. As being part of their life, but not their entire life; not like one reason to completely disengage them from life. And with all the celluloid hype, the idea that love should come first and love is too pure and all that have come to acquire wrong meanings. I mean, love is not something only between partners. It is a far more superior concept. Part of our love should go to our partners but if that becomes reason for us to hate love itself, then the entire purpose of it is lost. This is just one way of how people lose focus.
Reminds me of a beautiful story I read in my company BB some time back. It was about a woman who was denied her lover. The usual father was not willing, so child marries someone else story. It was beautifully narrated to show that life goes on in all cases. Our memories will no doubt stay with us. Perhaps, it will bring in us a tinge of hurt every time we think of it. But newer things should come by in our life and we should be able to grow with it. Staying with our past only results in derailing our own lives;
Coming back to where we started, love stories could definitely be another viable alternative. But the problem nowadays is to get the right story: P


-=A.R.N.=- said...

Well to take sides with the tale; mostly the usual "arranged marriage" needs a thorough 'background verification' because usually, when you know who you're marrying, you usually know what you're getting.

(Not that I'd know any of this though..)

princy said...

this is what happens when u sit alone at home for 1 day..:P

A New Beginning said...

Thats a great post!very interesting indeed. until peace resides qny option would do:)

AJai said...

as with everything people have a tendency to over-do things. and so is the case with love. but that doesn't mean falling in love is bad. i'd rather i make choices in my life than let others make them for me.

issam said...

@noor so... you're hinting at something ;)

@princy i guess so... :)

@ANB very much true... until peace resides, anything is good :D

@aj choosing on our own is definitely good provided one has enough choices :D